well i had a whole big blog planned about river and a bunch of pictures taken to put up....but my camera is not uploading to the computer after i thought i fixed it :( bummmmmer and a half....

but we just ordered Jeanette and Eleanor chipmunk beanie baby's, they are the last she needs to finish her collection! she loves them so much we can't go any where without them....still....

one day i will do a blog about all there adventures, because no toy has experienced as much as they!

{okay maybe that's not true, but they have been in the potty/ trash can/ left at target/ and every where else we've been since Christmas lol} 

 

 but there they are! :) 

i'm in need of a long picture filled blog of my daughter and its coming :D 

i've finally finished all the little prairie series :) 

they were soooo very tough to get through because they are so very slow, but they do make you appreciate life as we know it.

now on to another book. and another and i'll keep them posted so i can keep track :)

i've gotten my house clean all but my art/sewing room, but that is taking forever!

i bought all new storage boxes and a cute limegreen paisley sewing basket that i'm pretty much in love with. so that room is a weekend project! 

 

mm how awesome is this?

happy birthday to me :) 

also i've come down with the serious condition of tea-kettle-itis...

blake says it will pass....

but if you have ever came down with the disease you too would find your morning and nightly tea dissatisfying if the water was  not heated in one of these....

blog filled with blaaaaah. 

but sometimes you need that :) 

sharing the little things that make you happy!

today is house restoration day!

that means EVERYTHING WILL BE ORGANIZED! and there will be no sleep or rest until its done!

in other words its spring cleaning time and ima kick butt! wish me luck!

recently I've had some inner struggles because i haven't been as understanding as I'd like to be.

it makes me feel guilty, and i beat myself up for not being tolerant of others differences.

but its time for me to stop that and think it through, why i feel the negative feelings and turn it into something more positive!

we must be our very best selves because we are the only us's in the whole world!

and I'm not saying there is any one standard for us being "our best selves" because no one but god knows our individual standards and what we have been raised to think or feel.  

that's the beauty of being different, there is so much to learn and grow from.

open your mind too!  

why would anyone want to be someone else? why pretend to be others in hopes of approval?  its not pretty to see someone constantly changing there opinion in hopes of pleasing other people.

wheres the fun in that? 

there is nothing better then meeting new people and opening new doors to endless possibilities! 

but be true to yourself! do what makes YOU happy, be who YOU want to be, when YOU believe something make sure YOU are doing it because its whats right for YOU. 

not just because its the next cool thing to do and you change every thing you stand for!

okay maybe its not as positive as i wanted it to be, but WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT. embrace your individuality and respect others for theirs! 

differences make the world go round :)

just think about how amazing it is that you are you and no one else can take that!

before you say or do something, think about why your doing it. 

is it because it makes you happy? because its what you believe? 

are you doing it for you? or are you following the crowd?

 blah i don't know if I'll ever be able to explain that but i hope i didn't make it confusing....i do have a backwards way of explaining things haha    

 on another note.

i'm in love with the ready set, probably because of his hair....so because it makes me so very very happy i attempted my own more girly version of his hair mmm.. i have never loved my hair more!

rambling musicnesssss

if you know me very well you know i'm passionate about music.

but i lack any musical skill haha yay for me!

 but i'm thinking about picking up the guitar :)

my music library needs a little face lift i've also decided! 

so everyone send me your favorite band and song :) so i can broaden my horizons! 

mmm i'm buying sleeping with sirens album today, i'm a little in love with them.

okay this is my little secret that isn't so secret....

i love this song SO much. partly just because i love willow smith and her little spunky attitude....

but i want to teach river this dance :)

we're getting pretty good at lady gaga so its time to learn some new moves :)

is thinking....

about going private?

i read this quote and automatically highlighted it.

"anybody knew that no two men were alike. you could measure cloth with a yardstick, or distance by miles, but you could not lump men together and measure them by any rule. brains and character did not depend on anything but the man himself" 

-Laura Ingalls Wilder: the long winter

this made me smile, its exactly how i keep from being jealous of others and why i should not judge a book by its cover. each of us have quality's and down falls, just in different ways. 

we are all equal, because we are so different.

{the picture that made my day}

well the good/fun news is:

River got the most precious Tiana Princess dress from the disney store

she looks like a real little princess i could watch her in it all day :) 

and i got a Unicorn backpack and named him popcorn, its my new purse.....

the bad news is:

River dropped my nikon and now its broken....and i have lost the charger to my smaller camera....

so i can't take pictures of my little princess or my popcorn.....

22.

i turn 22 in 17 days. 

I've tried to reflect on all the things I've accomplished and learned.

I have come ALONG WAY. 

I don't regret anything I've ever done, those things have made me a stronger and deeper person no matter how foolish it was i learned something from it. 

I know i need to love everyone for who they are as a person, religion, race, and materialistic things don't make a person. there hearts and what they bring to the world are true gifts and we are so lucky to have each and every person in our lives. 

(even if we have a hard time once in awhile or some one we can not stand, they are the universe's way of saying "hey this is a lesson of tolerance, patience and forgiveness you need to learn")

i guess what I'm trying to say is everything happens for a reason, no matter how hard or tough things get we have to have hope and faith :) never ever stop learning. always help each other with the purest intentions. take each person and situation for what it is because it is a gift. 

AND

never ever lose yourself.

and i'll always be the weird little paigee from starcrest apartment 155 hahaha :)

a group of mothers and there sons came into school yesterday. 

there sons were 3-4 and the cutest little kids i've ever seen, one even looked just like river to me. 

but they were born with only half a heart, and only a few of the children with this condition live to see there 20's. after hearing each of there stories about finding out and all the struggles they've had i LOST it. 

i cried and cried and cried....i couldn't stop....i even went home early to calm down. 

its situations like this that i know god and the universe sent them to me so i could hear there stories and give me the motivation to CHANGE, the things that need to be changed. 

and realize exactly where i stand and what I'm doing wrong.

yesterday was gods way of sending me a wake up call, to appreciate my little healthy child and spend every moment i can to make her happy and a grow to be the best little person she can be.

its also his way of saying that i need to stop abusing my health with coffee and energy drinks. I HAVE THE CHOICE AND THE CHANCE TO BE HEALTHY AND LIVE A LONG LIFE.

those little boys don't :( so i will no longer take the wonderful life i have for granted.

from this day forward i will be the healthiest person i can be, because I'm a very fortunate person.

words to live by, and the person i wish to be.

Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

an ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.

  Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding. 

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves. 

Before the throne of the Almighty, man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions. For God alone reads our hearts. 

Confession of errors is like a broom which sweeps away the dirt and leaves the surface brighter and clearer. I feel stronger for confession.  

Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position. 

Each one prays to God according to his own light. 

Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into.

Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity are the exclusive possession of no one race or religion. 

all words of Gandhi.

these are my rules for living life, peacefully, happily and in a self-less manner.

always in service of others just for the sake of good karma and nothing more. 

i want to spend every day trying to better myself, and following my role models ways.  

Note To Self: 

Charles Ingalls Is Your Favorite

You Admire Laura Ingalls!! (especially her spirit)

Carrie is way better in the books

Mary and Caroline Ingalls are uptight....

And Self,  always remember that the TV show is mostly untrue....and made up.....

BUT you were always right about Almanzo Wilder he is pooh in the show AND the book.....

cabin fever.

I've kept myself busy this winter by lots of sewing, reading and new craft ideas,

even crocheting (which by the way, I'm TERRIBLE at.)

I haven't even noticed it being winter and snowy outside....until this last week and now all that pent up love for the sun is ready to explode! 

poor river stands on my bed and watches the 3 kittys that live in our bushes, she gets so sad when she says "out?" and i tell her no. she is dying to play with those cats! 

I've named them, 

Barbosa is the very fat bobcat looking one....he may be part bulldog lol. 

(plus he is my favorite) 

Gingee, obviously he is a ginger kitty. 

then the one whose name changes every time i see him, 

because i can never remember it. 

today it will be Raymond. 

River and I miss our walks outside, and playing in grandmas garden.

my daughter loves picking tomatoes off the vine and eating them right there, 

and i miss watching her calling them "mato mato"

we are counting down until spring :)

 can i just say that I'm in love with Asian street style?

its true. 

I modeled for my friends NAHA project today. 

it was an amazing experience and can't wait to post the pictures. 

she did an amazing job.

yes, my best friend is getting married. we've been through the last decade together

and this is a little crazy to me :) but she will be the prettiest bride i've seen.

this is my little black dress i'm puting on layaway tomorrow :) 

its for NAHA's in vegas this year, and Taylor Andrews hair shows.

so so so soooosooosooosoooso....SO very happy about it.

these are just really cute and i wanted to share them.

river and emma. they love each other. the end.

O gages it is :) one more size and we will be at the goal!!!!!

i've re-stretched my ear so many times its building up scar tissue and my right one tore....bad news bear....

and this is because i find these chipmunks EVERYWHERE. 

training potty, cupboards, laundry baskets in the fire place....pretty much every where......

keeping track.

i'm going to make sure i post each book i read this year :) and so far i've read these 5.

a little break...

not only did blake bet me if i could go 30 days without checking my facebook,

i had my sister change my password too. now i CAN'T check my account.

that's a good thing, a big relief :)

I'm very anti-reality TV, because i don't want to spend my life watching others live theirs.

thats all that facebook has become for me, observing others lives while sit back and let mine keep on going by.....

I want to live in the moment, and give my boyfriend and child my undivided attention.

also develop myself like i used to, spend my time reading, writing and learning.

I'm the person i think i miss most, i haven't been myself for years.....

I'm going to recapture that and spend my time on things that are most important :)

potty time.

yep we are trying out the big girl pants.

the glorious new potty, she wears around as a mask.

its been a big week for River, we even moved her bed into her room.

(and mom is stretching her ears out again! yay!)

Christmas.

our Christmas was different then any other we've had....

on Christmas eve, we played Yahtzee for hours, and had dinner with my family :)

(because i know my family reads this, you board game party poopers! you know who you are!)

as soon as river went to sleep we had Santa come....

BUT....just when we thought we could go to sleep river woke up at 2 in the morning....

so we opened presents as a little family :)

 river opened her chipmunks first, none of her other presents mattered at all :( they are her new loves she doesn't let them out of her sight.

we had banana buttermilk pancakes with strawberry's and whip cream...that's right....at 2-3 in the morning....it was a mess....but we all crashed afterward.

(river asleep with the chipmunks squeezed to her chest, like every night since)

Blake, being the boy that he is slept until 1pm the next day so we went to my parents house to see rivers presents from them! she was in love :) ...but the chipmunks had to be apart of everything....obviously....

the rest of the day consisted of Grandma Lisa's,  River drinking my coffee, River trying to jump on and ride the little doggy Roxie and River eating all sugary things all day...then being absolutely crazy and angry all night....the end

to make this picture better....river laid them that way....she laid in the middle of them...and she chose to cover her eyes....completely candid.

CHIPMUNKS.

cheesy river face :)

rivers room after santa :)

i wish we had more pictures of dad......

for all the days i missed....

in no particular order. 

-yes its true this is where i live.

-something i ate today. 

-someone(s) i find attractive.

-a day my hurr looked good :)

- a night i loved :) only he knows why, but you can probably guess :) 

-a time i was happy. this looks like a pretty happy time to me.

-a picture of me standing up.

-something i love doing. and that is hair color :)

-one of my classes. 

and for every day i didn't have a picture for this one will make up for it.

because it is amazing....

Day Sixteen.

a photo of the last party i went too.

yep, it was my baby shower....cause i'm such a hip happening person lol.

i was 38 weeks pregnant here :) and rivers name was also going to be ivie....

Day Fifteen.

a photo of me and someone i love, well i love both of them.

(this is RIGHT after i had river so ignore my jiggly)

but my sisters are my favorite people ever, we are different in every way.

Jessie is the quiet passive one,  a walking encyclopedia of the entertainment industry.  

if there is anyone i can depend on its her 100%

Meagan is full of style and i love her need for decorating. she is an artist at heart and a wonderful singer.

obviously i'm the outspoken one in the family haha.